Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
