YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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