Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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