Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize