I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize