just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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