the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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