this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
