got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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