I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.