One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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