My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
