So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
