one might say we're banned from that church
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
