I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
