i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
