Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
