I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
