Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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