TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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