I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
