you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
