I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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