I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
