glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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