Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He? As in you personified your dick?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
