So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
