We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
