i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
