Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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