How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
