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your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
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