i jhust puked up my retainher.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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