Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
