Your face is a jimmy john
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
