OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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