Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
