Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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