last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Boobs are out for the taking
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
