this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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