38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
