she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
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Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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