Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
