this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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