...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
