Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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