I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize