she looked like the before picture.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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