Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Found the puke drawer
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
