omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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