He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
