i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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