Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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