I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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