I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
