he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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