Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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