Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
