It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
