I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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