I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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