i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
