Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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