if you like me you must not know who I am
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
